V SAID

The Feel-Good Guide to Sex Positive

24 January, 2022

The term sex positive became popular in the 1990s, an evolution of the 1960s free-love era. Ever since, it’s been having a moment. From hashtags #freethenipple and #Effyourbeautystandards to #GETONTOP, a campaign to promote women’s sexual health, brands and media have moved sex positive into mainstream.

To celebrate women’s wellness (January is sexual wellness month), we’re encouraging open and honest sex talk through our #LaVellaUp challenge, a helpful and encouraging resource for women on a mission to embrace discovery and sex-life empowerment.


That said, what is sex positive? Google it and you’ll unearth a plethora of definitions. So we asked an expert:

“You have a sex-positive attitude. You create a sex positive environment for love and sexual pleasure to flourish. It is also when you feel good before, during and after a sexual experience.
- Karinna Karsten

Karinna is Vella’s in-house sexual wellness expert and the founder of Love TV. She’s a global relationship expert, educator, author and film producer and a leader in her field empowering love, sex and intimacy. So, we all want to know: how do you prioritize sexual wellness? Karinna had a few suggestions:

• Keep growing and learning with sex-positive audios and videos
• Lean into your turn-ons and address your reactive triggers
• Have healthy sex conversations with friends and family
• Track your intimate relationship interactions over time with a partner

She goes on to explain the most common thing women are taught to be embarrassed about in the bedroom? Asking for what they want. Women find it awkward to speak up for a number of reasons. Leftover social beliefs that male sexual pleasure is prioritized, worried we’ll offend our partner for not doing it right — even the fear that what we’re asking for could be interpreted as not “normal.”

Sex positive doesn’t attempt to define what’s normal. Everything is normal provided it’s consensual. It’s whatever feels right for you. Sex positive is open to new ideas about sex and sexual activities. It understands the importance of safe sex, including condom use and testing. It respects all sexual orientations. In short, sex positive encourages freely exploring fantasies, prioritizing a healthy sex life, being your own advocate for sexual health and accepting others views of sexuality.

Women’s sexual wellness nurtures body and mind and supports vibrant relationships. We can all benefit from that.

So, what are some unique ways to help the women in your inner circle celebrate sexual wellness? Plan a sex-positive gathering. Try out Vella ahead of time and then share your experiences with your pals. With your partner, open up better communication pathways either pre-game, during or après sex. Try something new in bed such as pleasure breathing or an exotic Tantric lovemaking position.

Following sex-positive educators is another a great way lean more about and express a sex positive way of life. Go be you when looking to freely embrace your sexuality and own your sexual pleasure, knowing the sky is the limit (ooh mile-high club!)

So, as you continue along your self-positive journey this year explore anything that’s keeping you from the pleasure you deserve and replace it with reverence, respect and presence. We’re positive it will lead to a refreshingly healthy outlook on life.

“There’s no such thing as normal sex preferences. Embrace what you like when it comes to sex.

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