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Why Having Sex is Ageless

12 October, 2021

Animated dildos and vibrators frolic on the beach in a dream sequence in Season 3 of Grace & Frankie, a heartwarming and refreshing TV series profiling the lives of senior women – including their sex lives – portrayed by Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin.

Frankie and love-interest Jacob develop an easy-open condom because as Frankie said, “Condoms are hell to open and having scissors on the bedside table just doesn’t set the right tone.” It’s refreshing to watch Grace and Frankie’s open discussion about sex in the 70 and over age group, because we seldom do. Yet Grace and Frankie’s characters address the issue without hesitation. The series has also covered difficulty masturbating because of arthritis — hence Grace and Frankie starting an ergonomic sex toy company. The fact that the series features two Hollywood legends who are very outspoken about their sexuality has helped thrust it into pop culture conversations and elevate the dialogue about senior sex in general.

“It’s refreshing to watch Grace and Frankie’s open discussion about sex in the 70 and over age group, because we seldom do.

Why has sex and aging not always been at the forefront of sexual wellness conversations? As we age, our calendar frees up and the pace of life feels more manageable. Why wouldn’t we want to fill the time with more sex? The kids have flown the nest. We know ourselves better and we’ve done the work to become more confident and self-assured. It’s also a physical activity that’s easy on the knees and joints. How old you are is not an indicator for great sex. What is? Asking for what you want in bed and communicating your needs openly and with no shame. And while we’re on the topic, intimacy is timeless too — physical touch, kissing holding hands — we need them at any age.

Physical benefits abound! Sex burns fat and boosts your immune system. It gives you higher levels of those naturally produced feel-good sex hormones. Bottom line: sex keeps you feeling young and healthy. And lots of older people know this and are having more sex. Maybe explained this way: people are living longer and healthier than before. Sexual dysfunctions are more easily treated. And attitudes toward sex in general are different now. Staying in good physical and mental health as you age seems to be an indicator of maintaining good sexual health into the 70s, 80s and even 100s.

So who is having the best sex? A 2018 Match.com Singles in America report found that 66-year-old women and 64-year-old men were having the best sex of their lives. Sure there are physical changes that come with aging and impact the frequency of sex and one’s physical performance, but those issues can often be addressed. It might just require more time spent on foreplay (not a bad tradeoff). Menopause is one example of life changes interfering with sex. Postmenopausal women have low estrogen levels if they aren’t on hormone replacement. The lower estrogen makes the vagina less elastic. This can make sex painful and arousal after menopause more difficult. Vella Women’s Pleasure Serum can help with this – our study included women up to age 75 who reported an improvement in orgasm. The serum penetrates deep beyond the skin to relax vaginal and clitoral smooth muscle tissue resulting in natural lubrication, arousal and more intense orgasms. Another piece of good news for older women having sex is it helps strengthen their vaginal tissue and pelvic floor muscles, which helps prevent incontinence and prolapse.

Research shows most men and women between the ages of 65 and 80 are still very much sexually active and very satisfied too. The National Council on Aging had similar findings. Nearly half of all Americans age 60 or over have sex at least once a month and nearly half wanted it more. And this interesting fact: people find their partners more physically attractive over time. Good to know we’re all just getting better in the eyes of our partners! Even if there’s not penetrative sex, many elderly people have adapted to a broader definition of sex that includes, kissing, touching — even solo sex. Sex doesn’t stop at a certain age. Stoking the fire of desire is a healthy and wonderful way to feel connected and alive. While it might not be the hot lusty kind you experienced in your twenties, maybe it will!

“Sex doesn’t stop at a certain age. Stoking the fire of desire is a healthy and wonderful way to feel connected and alive.

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