Before each movie clicks to the credits, we see the wedded prince and princess riding off on horseback, and we’re taught that in order to be happy you need a partner. While marriage and companionship are not bad things, the message that we need someone else to be complete is inaccurate. If we’re not enough solo, then we’ll never feel like we’re enough when we’re partnered. What it boils down to is this—you need to love yourself first.
What does self-love mean? According to Allaya Cooks-Campbell, certified Integrative Wellness & Life Coach, “Self-love means that you have an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for yourself. It’s closely related to self-esteem and self-compassion. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you understand your own value and treat yourself in a loving way.” When you love yourself, you realize what you deserve and what you won’t settle for. As Campbell goes on to say, “We develop self-love by getting to know ourselves. This process of self-knowledge and self-discovery is a large part of what it takes to fall in love with ourselves.”
“We develop self-love by getting to know ourselves. This process of self-knowledge and self-discovery is a large part of what it takes to fall in love with ourselves.” ~ Allaya Cooks-Campbell, certified Wellness & Life Coach
The best part of practicing self-love is that it’s never wasted time. By dating yourself, you’re investing in a relationship that will last. This Valentine’s Day, instead of feeling embarrassed, let down or frustrated about being single—see it as a chance to give yourself the best date you’ve ever had. (And bonus, you won’t have to settle for a man that looks like a frog).
“The best part of practicing self-love is that it’s never wasted time. By dating yourself, you’re investing in a relationship that will last.”
Here are 12 Ways To Take Yourself On A Date This Valentine’s Day…
1. Comedy Show Date
If your grandma told you that laughter is the best medicine, she was right. Laughing is one of the best forms of self-care. The Mayo Clinic says that “laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins [happy chemicals] that are released by your brain.” Basically, when we laugh, our brains and bodies become more alert, and we feel happier. Give yourself a date that is fun and filled with laughter by checking out your local comedy clubs or finding a venue nearby.
2. Event Date
Have you always wanted to attend a culinary cooking class? Perhaps you’re interested in ballroom lessons, painting, pottery, or learning a new language. Find a course near you or if you have the budget, go out of state. Explore your secret skills or finesse them through conferences or local events.
3. Museum Date
Museums and galleries are meant to be savored like a good glass of wine. Sipped slowly. Walk around and relish the education, creativity, and culture.
4. Spa Date
Allow yourself to be pampered. Book yourself a hot stone massage, facial, infrared sauna, footbath, or salt water float. Better yet, do them all!
5. Movie Date
Did that new action flick or comedic romance come out? Buy yourself the big bowl of popcorn and enjoy one, maybe even two features.
6. Fitness Date
Exercise links us to our physical bodies, helping us check in with our breath and movement. When we feel better physically, our confidence grows and our mental health improves.
7. Shopping Date
How often do we shop at the stores and say, “I sure wish I could have that.” But then, we don’t buy it? We pass by the pretty things, the luxury items, the stuff we don’t necessarily need. Well on this date, you have permission to buy the wants.
8. Journaling Date
Feeling introspective? Turn on the soft tunes and simply write. Write about your life, your experiences, your hopes, and your dreams. Write through the letdowns and joys. Let all your thoughts flow through your pen and onto the paper.
9. Wine Tasting Date
Look up local tasting rooms in your area or set out on a road trip to stop at various wineries. You could even make a list of the wines you liked and the locations.
10. New Look Date
Feeling good about yourself is a natural confidence booster. You could try out a new hairstyle or hair color. After pinning styles on Pinterest, go out and get them done.
11. Nature Date
Walk or hike the trails in your area or visit a National Park to enjoy the beauty and peacefulness found in nature.
12. Bedroom Date
Who says your solo date night can’t be steamy? Self-exploration is a healthy practice for getting to know and connect with your body. Since every good romance starts with a good setting, turn down the lights, put on sultry music, and light scented candles. To prep your body for an orgasm, we suggest using Vella Women’s Pleasure Serum. This serum can be applied 15-25 minutes before solo sex to better stimulate your response. While touching yourself, take your time and relax. Start by stroking your fingers through your hair. Work your way down, slowly touching all of you—ears, neck, lips, nipples, stomach, thighs, etc. Allow yourself to linger on places that spark your pleasure. While lying on your back, spread your legs apart and gently rub your clitoris with your fingers or with a vibrator. If you want, you can slide your fingers or vibrator into the vagina to stroke the G-spot. Find the rhythm and speed that makes your temperature rise until you come. “If you’re going to have a goal for masturbation, allow it to be to experience all the pleasure you can get out of the encounter you’re engaging in,” says Shamyra Howard, a certified Sex Therapist. “Orgasm is the icing on the cake, but you don’t need to have an orgasm to have a pleasurable sexual experience.”
Whatever date or dates you decide to embark on, it’s important to find the thing that fits you. This V-Day be creative and do the thing(s) that make you feel loved. Being single on valentine’s day should be a positive, self-affirming time. As you get to know yourself and better love yourself, you build the strongest foundation for whatever chapter of life comes next. Because, unlike Cinderella, you don’t need Prince Charming to be complete.