120 Sex Questions To Ask

Sex questions can serve as an incredible tool for building trust and deepening connections, not just with a partner but with friends and even your children when the time is right. 

Whether you’re trying to get to know a new partner’s preferences, bond with friends over candid discussions, or struggling to respond to the tricky questions kids often ask, sex questions in the right context encourage open conversations that nurture trust, bonding, and growth. 

Sex Questions To Get To Know Your Partner

Getting to know a new partner isn’t always easy. Some people are hesitant to reveal personal aspects about themselves, and questions regarding intimacy and sex can be even tougher to traverse. 

The secret is to phrase questions carefully and respectfully, show a genuine interest in wanting to know your partner on a deeper level, and really listen when they open up and share. 

Try some of the following questions to start a conversation and encourage your partner to trust you with their feelings:

1. Are you comfortable talking about sex?
2. Who taught you about sex?
3. How old were you when you first had sex?
4. What was your first time like?
5. What is your favorite sex position?
6. Where do you most like to be touched?
7. What is your favorite time of day to have sex?
8. Do you like sex with the lights on or off?
9. Do you enjoy erotica?
10. Do you watch porn?
11. What makes you feel sexy?
12. What makes you feel desired?
13. What turns you on the most?
14. Have you ever had a negative sexual experience?
15. What’s the best sex dream you’ve ever had?
16. What’s the weirdest sex dream you’ve ever had?
17. Have you ever had a sex dream about me?
18. Do you like sex toys?
19. Do you like rough sex?
20. What do you enjoy most about sex?
21. What’s the best part about our sex life?

Sex Questions To Reveal Turn-Ons

Learning exactly what drives your partner wild (and what doesn’t) gives you a powerful advantage in the bedroom and creates the opportunity to share your steamiest or secret turn-ons as well. 

Once you start asking these questions, don’t be too surprised if the conversation evolves into way more than just talk. Embrace the moment, and use your newfound knowledge about your partner’s biggest turn-ons to crank up the heat in bed.

1. How do you define mind-blowing sex?
2. What’s been your greatest sexual experience so far?
3. What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?
4. How do you feel about threesomes?
5. Do you like watching girl-on-girl sex?
6. What’s your favorite toy to use during sex?
7. What’s the strangest item you’ve ever used as a sex toy?
8. What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?
9. How rough do you like it?
10. What nonsexual items turn you on?
11. What is your favorite technique for oral sex?
12. How do you feel about anal play?
13. Where do you most like to be kissed or licked?
14. What’s your favorite type of foreplay?
15. Do you enjoy domination and BDSM play?
16. In what public places have you always wanted to try having sex?
17. Where is the most unusual place you’ve ever had sex?
18. What gets you hot immediately?
19. What’s your favorite part of my body?
20. What would you like to watch me do to myself?
21. What is your secret fantasy?

Sex Questions To Turn Your Partner On

Understanding your partner’s turn-ons is one thing—actually turning them on with words alone is something else entirely. Watching your partner become highly aroused can be a surprisingly huge turn-on for you as well! 

Ask a few of the following questions, and see where it leads.

1. Would you like to use a vibrator on me?
2. Do you want to watch me touch myself?
3. How about we try experimenting with a dildo tonight?
4. Can we try mutual masturbation?
5. I just bought some edible panties. Want to see what they taste like?
6. Do I taste good?
7. Would you like to come in my mouth?
8. Do you want to make a sex tape?
9. I need you now. Can you come home?
10. Should we try a threesome?
11. Can we act out your favorite fantasy?
12. I’m in a no-limits mood. What would you like to do?
13. What sex act have you always wanted to try?
14. Would you like to blindfold me?
15. Can I tie you up?
16. Do you want to recreate your favorite porn scene?
17. Can I be on top this time?
18. Can you tell me in detail how you would bring me to orgasm?
19. Can you tell me in detail how you want me to make you come?
20. What if I touch you here?
21. What would happen if I put you in my mouth right now?

How Vella Can Help Turn You On

Sex questions can be as fun, revealing, or dirty as you like, but if you have trouble becoming aroused, the questions might not lead to anything more than conversation. 

That’s where Vella comes into play. We’ve developed science-backed products clinically shown to support female pleasure. See for yourself the difference Vella can make!

• Women’s Pleasure Serum is a topical arousal and orgasm cream created by doctors after 7 years of research. This lotion contains CBD to relax smooth muscles and increase blood flow, which leads to heightened arousal and easier, more satisfying orgasms.
• Super Slip & Slide provides long-lasting lubrication whenever you need it as well as nourishment for your skin. The more lubricated you are, the less you’ll worry about discomfort and the more you can focus on pleasure.
• Women’s Intimate Elixir is ultra lightweight and feels just like your body’s natural lubrication. Because it is a water-based lube, it’s safe to use with whatever sex toys you enjoy. 

“Have You Ever…” Sex Questions

“Have you ever…” questions are a playful and exciting way to explore new aspects of your partner’s sexual experiences, fantasies, and curiosities. 

They encourage openness and can spark fun, adventurous conversations that deepen your connection and reveal exciting possibilities for the future.

1. Have you ever been attracted to a member of the opposite sex?
2. Have you ever been hit on by a member of the opposite sex?
3. Have you ever been caught having sex?
4. Have you ever watched someone having sex?
5. Have you ever watched someone masturbate?
6. Have you ever acted out a fantasy?
7. Have you ever sent naked pics to someone?
8. Have you ever made a sex tape?
9. Have you ever tried (or wanted to try) BDSM?
10. Have you ever fantasized about someone inappropriate?
11. Have you ever had sex in public?
12. Have you ever fallen asleep during sex?
13. Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a single night?
14. Have you ever tried anal sex?
15. Have you ever been to a sex shop?
16. Have you ever had a threesome?
17. Have you ever participated in an orgy?
18. Have you ever tried role-play sex?
19. Have you ever tried mutual masturbation?
20. Have you ever fantasized about someone else while having sex?
21. Have you ever regretted sex?

Sex Questions To Ask Before Marriage

Before entering into marriage, it’s important to have open and honest discussions about sexual compatibility, expectations, and boundaries. 

Asking these questions helps ensure both of you are on the same page and helps build a strong foundation of trust, understanding, and mutual fulfillment in the relationship.

1. How many partners have you had? 
2. Have you been tested for STDs and STIs?
3. How important is sex to you?
4. Where do you like being touched the most?
5. What are your top sexual fantasies?
6. What don’t you enjoy in bed?
7. Do you like to be the one to initiate sex?
8. Do you enjoy dirty talk during sex?
9. What type of sexual behavior is off-limits for you?
10. How aggressive are you in bed?
11. How adventurous are you when it comes to sex?
12. How do you feel about sex toys?
13. How could I best please you in the bedroom?
14. How many times per week would you expect sex?
15. How do you think our sex life would change once we have children?

Sex Questions To Ask Friends

Asking your friends thought-provoking or intimate sex questions opens the door to candid conversations, encourages bonding, and helps you learn from others’ experiences. More than likely, your friends are brimming with questions just like you are.

1. What was your first time like?
2. How many partners have you had?
3. How many partners do you think is too many? 
4. Have you ever had an awkward or embarrassing sexual experience?
5. Is it easy for you to reach orgasm?
6. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
7. Have you ever had a one-night stand?
8. Have you ever had sex on the first date?
9. Do you like quickies?
10. Would you ever try a threesome?
11. If you could have a threesome with any two people, whom would you choose and why?
12. Do you think size really matters?
13. What’s your biggest turn-off?
14. Have you ever had sex with a coworker?
15. Have you ever cheated?
16. What’s your favorite position?
17. What’s the hottest thing your partner has ever done to you?
18. What’s the most adventurous place you’ve ever had sex?
19. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done in bed?
20. Where do you draw the line when it comes to wild sex?
21. Do you and your partner watch porn together?

Tips for Asking Sex Questions

Asking sex questions can feel intimidating, but it’s a key step in building trust, deepening intimacy, and ensuring mutual satisfaction. With the right approach, these conversations can become a natural part of your relationship.

• Choose a comfortable, private setting.
• Use humor to break the ice if you’re nervous.
• Start with general questions to ease into the conversation.
• Focus on what excites or interests you both instead of what’s lacking.
• Use "I" statements to express personal thoughts or feelings.
• Be patient and open-minded, allowing your partner time to respond.
• Keep the tone respectful and nonjudgmental.
• Avoid making assumptions; ask for clarification when needed.
• Focus on mutual growth rather than placing blame or criticism.
• Follow up after the conversation.

Sex Questions Kids Often Ask

Children are naturally curious, but when they start asking you about sex, it can be very uncomfortable. It’s up to you to determine how involved the answers need to be based on your kid’s age and maturity level. 

Think before you speak. You want your child to know that they can come to you with any question, and how you respond that first time sets the stage for future conversations. 

Be prepared to hear these questions eventually:

1. Why do I have a penis?
2. Why don’t girls have penises?
3. Why do I have a vagina?
4. What’s a vagina for?
5. What is sex?
6. Why do boys like girls?
7. Do you and daddy have sex?
8. Does everyone have sex?
9. How does sex work?
10. Does sex hurt?
11. Why don’t kids have sex?
12. Where do babies come from?
13. What’s a condom?
14. What were those noises I heard last night?
15. Do you get a baby every time you have sex?

Wrapping It Up

Engaging in open and honest discussions about sex can profoundly enhance relationships and lead to better, more fulfilling sexual experiences. By asking thoughtful questions, you can uncover desires, build trust, and gain deeper intimacy. 

Choose your sex questions carefully, and remember that every conversation is an opportunity for growth, learning, and connection.

Our sexcare products are backed by science and clinically proven to enhance arousal. Shop Vella today to elevate your sex life in ways you’d only hoped were possible.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is it important to ask sex questions?

Asking sex questions opens the line of communication, enhances trust, and promotes a better understanding of each partner's needs and boundaries. It helps clarify misconceptions, supports mutual respect, and can improve both emotional intimacy and sexual satisfaction within the relationship.

How can asking sex questions improve a relationship?

Sex questions open the door to honest conversations by helping couples express their desires, concerns, and boundaries. This deeper communication builds emotional intimacy and strengthens the relationship, which creates a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience for both partners.

Can sex questions help overcome sexual insecurities?

Yes, asking sex questions can reduce insecurities by addressing concerns and misconceptions directly. Open dialogue about fears or uncertainties allows for mutual reassurance, encourages understanding, and helps partners become more comfortable and confident in their sexual experiences.

How can I ask sex questions without feeling embarrassed?

Start by normalizing the conversation. Approach it calmly in a comfortable environment, and use open-ended questions. Acknowledge that it’s natural to feel nervous, but emphasize the importance of honesty and respect in discussing sexual preferences, boundaries, or curiosities.

Are there any sex questions that are off-limits?

No sex question is inherently off-limits, but it’s important to approach sensitive topics with respect and care. While all questions are valid, the way they’re asked matters. Partners should feel safe and respected, and any boundaries should be honored during these conversations.

How can sex questions lead to better sexual health?

Asking sex questions promotes a better understanding of sexual health needs, including contraception, STI prevention, and consent. By encouraging openness, partners can seek the right medical advice, share health concerns, and make informed decisions about their sexual well-being.