How To Achieve Greater Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence is not just about how we look or perform—it’s about embracing our true selves and fostering a deeper connection with our desires and partners. 

Being sexually confident is a key component of a fulfilling and satisfying intimate life, yet many people struggle with this due to insecurities and societal pressures.

Building sexual confidence requires self-awareness, open communication, and a willingness to explore new experiences (like sex cream for women). By understanding what holds us back and taking actionable steps, we can cultivate more joyful and satisfying sex.

Defining Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence is the ability to embrace and express your sexuality without fear, shame, or self-doubt. It’s about feeling secure in your body, understanding your desires, and being comfortable discussing your needs with a partner. 

This confidence isn’t just about physical intimacy—it influences how you carry yourself daily. People with sexual confidence radiate self-assuredness, communicate openly and approach intimacy with curiosity and joy. 

Sexual confidence is rooted in self-awareness and self-acceptance, and by increasing the amount of sexual confidence you possess, you create more space for authentic connections and deeply satisfying sexual experiences.

Benefits of Having Sexual Confidence

Having sexual confidence can transform your relationships, bolster your v, and improve your overall happiness and personal well-being. Benefits include:

• Improved Communication: You can openly express your needs, desires, and boundaries.
• Stronger Intimacy: Confidence fosters deeper emotional and physical connections.
• Reduced Anxiety: Feeling secure in your sexuality alleviates performance concerns.
• Enhanced Satisfaction: Self-assured individuals often experience greater fulfillment in their intimate lives.
• Positive Body Image: Embracing your sexuality helps you appreciate and accept your body.

Why Some People Struggle With Sexual Confidence

Many people struggle with sexual confidence due to a combination of psychological, social, and personal factors. 

Negative past experiences, such as rejection or trauma, can create lasting insecurities. Cultural messages and unrealistic media portrayals may lead to feelings of inadequacy or shame about one’s body or sexual performance. 

Low self-esteem, limited sexual education, or a lack of communication with a partner can also contribute. Additionally, fear of judgment or not meeting perceived expectations can hinder confidence. 

Understanding these challenges is the first step toward addressing them and creating a healthier, more secure sense of self in intimate situations.

How Vella Can Help

There are many ways to increase your sexual confidence, as we’ll explain below, but sometimes, a lack of sexual confidence simply stems from a lack of sexual enjoyment. 

This is where Vella can come to the rescue. Doctors developed our feminine lubricants and orgasm creams after years of research to deliver clinically proven results. Try pairing one of the lubricants with our special arousal cream for enhanced results.

• Women’s Pleasure Serum: This topical sex cream utilizes the power of CBD to enhance blood flow and relax smooth muscles, which leads to increased arousal, enhanced natural lubrication, and easier orgasms that are intensely satisfying.
• Women’s Intimate Elixir: This water-based personal lubricant contains hyaluronic acid, chasteberry extract, and aloe vera to provide long-lasting slickness that mimics the body’s natural lubrication.
• Super Slip & Slide: This silicone-based lubricant is made with nourishing ingredients, including squalane, sea buckthorn oil, and vitamin E, to restore suppleness and elasticity to delicate skin while providing instant slickness that lasts as long as you do.

How To Have More Sexual Confidence

Building sexual confidence is a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. It’s about shedding insecurities, embracing your desires, and learning to navigate intimacy with openness and trust. 

While the task at hand may seem daunting, taking small, intentional steps can lead to profound changes. By prioritizing self-love, communication, and knowledge, you can unlock a more confident, satisfying intimate life. 

These practical strategies will help you develop a deeper connection with yourself and your partner to pave the way for a healthier sex life.

1. Let Go of Self-Consciousness

Self-consciousness often stems from overanalyzing your appearance or performance. Start by focusing on what makes you unique and valuable, both inside and out. Practice self-compassion and mindfulness to quiet negative thoughts. 

During intimacy, redirect your focus to the sensations and connection rather than perceived flaws. Meditation, journaling, or positive affirmations can also help reframe how you view yourself and make it easier to relax and fully engage in the moment.

2. Believe You Deserve Sexual Pleasure

Acknowledging that you are worthy of pleasure is key to confidence. Start by challenging any negative beliefs about your worthiness. Explore what feels good through solo exploration to understand your body and desires on a deeper level. 

Practice affirmations such as, “I deserve love and pleasure.” Openly communicate your needs to your partner, keeping in mind that mutual satisfaction is a shared goal. 

3. Embrace Your Body

Confidence begins with body acceptance. You are a unique and splendid creation! Instead of focusing on perceived imperfections, celebrate what your body allows you to do and feel. 

Engage in activities that make you feel strong and connected to your body, such as yoga or dancing. Replace critical self-talk with gratitude for your physical being. Surround yourself with body-positive influences, and wear clothes that make you feel attractive. 

4. Know What Turns You On

Understanding your sexual pleasures helps you enjoy intimacy with confidence. Spend time exploring what excites you through self-reflection, fantasy, or solo experimentation. Pay attention to the moments or thoughts that ignite passion.

When you know what you enjoy, you can communicate it clearly to your partner. Consider reading books, listening to podcasts, or attending workshops on sexuality to broaden your knowledge and spark new ideas.

5. Have Candid Talks With Your Partner About Likes and Dislikes

Open communication is essential for a confident and satisfying intimate life. Discussing preferences helps you understand each other’s desires and avoid misunderstandings. 

Create a safe, judgment-free space to discuss what you enjoy, your boundaries, your fantasies, and any concerns you may have. 

Approach these conversations with curiosity and empathy. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as, “I love when you…” or “I’d like to try…”

6. Increase Your Knowledge About Sex

Expanding your sexual knowledge can boost confidence by dispelling myths and learning what’s normal. Read books, watch educational or graphic videos, talk with friends, or attend workshops to understand different aspects of sexual health and pleasure. 

Knowledge helps you feel prepared and empowered, allowing you to explore new experiences with a sense of curiosity rather than fear. 

Understanding anatomy, communication techniques, and a variety of sexual practices can make you feel more confident in intimate situations, both with yourself and with a partner.

7. Keep an Open Mind About Sexual Exploration

Sexual confidence comes from being open to new experiences and exploring beyond your comfort zone. Embrace the idea that sexuality is a spectrum, and try things that intrigue you without fear of judgment. 

Communicate with your partner about fantasies and desires, and be open to experimentation. Respect your boundaries and your partner's, but also be willing to step outside them occasionally. Be sure always to practice safe sex to avoid STDs and infections. 

8. Pay Attention to Your Body Language

Nonverbal cues play a significant role in sexual confidence. Pay attention to how you present yourself physically—your posture, eye contact, and gestures can communicate either confidence or discomfort. 

Practice standing tall, maintaining good eye contact, and using open body language to express assertiveness and attraction. These subtle signals can make you feel more self-assured and attractive to your partner.

9. Break Free of Inhibitions

Overcoming inhibitions involves challenging your fears and letting go of societal judgments. Start small by gradually exposing yourself to things that make you uncomfortable, whether it’s a sexual fantasy or trying a new position. 

Practice saying yes to experiences you once might have said no to, and remember that sexual confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being open to exploration and growth.

Trust in your partner and the space you’ve created together, and embrace the idea that mistakes can be valuable learning experiences.

10. Be Bold in Asking for What You Want

Confidence in your sexuality is often about being assertive and clear about your desires. Practice expressing your needs and fantasies to your partner without fear of rejection. 

Start by discussing preferences casually outside the bedroom, and then transition to talking openly about what you enjoy during intimate moments. 

Being direct and honest not only boosts your confidence—it can enhance your partner’s confidence as well by providing insight into how best to please you during sex. 

Encourage your partner to express their desires and needs boldly as well to ensure mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

11. Address Any Sexual Performance Issues

Confidence can wane if you experience performance anxiety. For men, issues such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation often arise but can be overcome with the help of a medical professional. 

For women, low libido, difficulty becoming aroused, lack of lubrication, and trouble with weak orgasms are common concerns, but help is available. Communication with your partner is important; being open about your concerns helps build a supportive environment. 

Sometimes, addressing performance issues is simply a matter of relaxing and being in the moment. Techniques such as mindfulness, pelvic floor exercises, or simply slowing down can make a big difference. 

In other cases, healthcare professionals are needed to provide lasting solutions.

12. Speak With a Sex Therapist

If confidence issues persist despite your best efforts, consider speaking with a sex therapist. A professional can provide tailored advice and strategies to overcome specific challenges. 

Seeking professional help is a sign of strength and a commitment to improving your sexual well-being.

Therapy can help address underlying issues, such as past trauma or relationship dynamics, that affect your sexual confidence. A therapist can also teach communication skills, improve self-esteem, and provide a safe space to explore intimacy openly. 

13. You Are Not Perfect, and That’s Okay

Perfection isn’t the goal with sexual confidence—it’s about embracing your uniqueness and being comfortable with imperfections. Accept that you may not have the perfect body and won’t always have perfect sex. 

Perfectionism can drastically hinder intimacy because it leads to self-doubt and anxiety. Instead, focus on the connection and pleasure in the moment. 

Understand that you and your partner have flaws, which makes the experience real and human. Embrace the messiness of sex, and view each experience as an opportunity to learn and grow closer together.

14. Start Small To Grow Confidence Gradually but Consistently 

Building sexual confidence doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing endeavor. Starting small allows you to make gradual progress without feeling overwhelmed. 

Focus on setting achievable goals, such as becoming more comfortable discussing your desires with a partner or experimenting with small changes in your routine. Over time, these small steps add up, helping you build a solid foundation of confidence. 

Practice self-compassion and celebrate these achievements, no matter how minor they may seem. Consistent effort, even in small doses, can lead to significant growth in your sexual confidence and make the process feel more manageable and rewarding.

When To Seek Professional Help

Seeking professional help for sexual confidence issues can be beneficial if you find that confidence-building strategies are not effective or if you experience persistent challenges. 

This could include issues such as severe performance anxiety, trauma, or sexual difficulties that interfere with your quality of life and relationships. 

A sex therapist or counselor can provide a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore these issues in depth. Therapy can address underlying psychological factors, help improve communication skills, and offer tailored strategies for overcoming obstacles. 

If you’re feeling stuck, professional guidance can be a valuable step toward healing and empowerment.

Start Finding Your Sexual Confidence Today!

Sexual confidence isn’t about achieving perfection but about embracing your authentic self through self-discovery and empowerment. 

By letting go of insecurities, increasing your sexual knowledge, exploring new experiences, and practicing self-compassion, you can cultivate a more fulfilling and joyous intimate life. Starting with small steps can gradually build confidence and put you on the path to success.

Remember that sexual confidence is not an end goal but a continuous process of growth and self-discovery.

Explore Vella today to find science-backed solutions for increasing lubrication and promoting heightened arousal that culminates in intense, satisfying orgasms.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to be sexually confident?

Being sexually confident means feeling secure, self-assured, and comfortable in your sexuality. It involves embracing your desires, knowing your boundaries, and openly communicating with your partner to foster intimacy and enjoyment without self-doubt or fear of judgment.

Why do I lack sexual confidence?

Lack of sexual confidence can stem from negative past experiences, low self-esteem, unrealistic expectations, or limited knowledge about sex. Cultural stigmas, body image issues, or performance anxiety may also play a role, making it hard to feel at ease in intimate situations.

How can I improve my sexual confidence?

Improving sexual confidence involves self-reflection and growth. Embrace your body, explore your desires, communicate openly with your partner, and educate yourself about sex. Overcoming self-doubt and practicing self-compassion are also key steps toward feeling more empowered.

How do I overcome sexual shyness?

Overcoming sexual shyness requires patience and effort. Start by building self-awareness and gradually sharing your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Focus on trust, open communication, and self-acceptance to create a safe space for expressing your desires.