MIND

Stop Faking the Big O

10 March, 2021

Have you ever faked an orgasm? If so, you’re not alone. Research shows nearly 60% of women have faked an orgasm at least once.

Remember that line from the iconic scene in When Harry Met Sally? The male lead, Harry (Billy Crystal), says, “Well, they haven’t faked it with me.And women everywhere smirked, sighed, eyerolled – but it’s not entirely on Harry for believing that.  

Why do women fake orgasms? The reasons are layered and complex.

Most men say they care if their partner has an orgasm and they work hard to ensure it. But if a woman knows an orgasm is not on the horizon, she might be inclined to fake it to reassure her partner.

There are even many women who wonder, what does a female orgasm feel like? How are we supposed to know? It’s a legitimate question. If it’s supposed to look like what we see on TV and movies, it’s not a huge surprise that orgasms are often performative. 

It’s not always a cover-up though. Some women say faking orgasms get them worked up to actually have one (visualizing leads to manifesting). Other times, we might want to end sex, because it isn’t good sex.  

Studies also say we are most likely to fake orgasms during penetrative sex rather than oral sex. (Food for thought.)  

But for those women who are faking it because orgasm feels unattainable, why can’t they climax?

Meds, daily distractions, lack of lubrication — all interfere with female arousal triggers and arousal is a precursor to orgasm. So, if we’re faking it because there’s an underlying problem, covering it up doesn’t solve the issue.

Touch Yourself.

We all need different stimuli to orgasm. Some women climax from clitoral stimulation only, while other women need vaginal and nipple contact. There are women who need to feel love from their partners or themselves to orgasm. The best way to know what you need is to touch yourself. We’ve said it once and we’ll say it again (and again and again) – masturbate! Solo sex can be some of the best sex of our lives.

Communicate.

Maybe we’re not getting what we want in bed because we’re hesitant to ask. We know, we know – everyone says communication is key, but it does make a big difference. Talking openly about what you need leads to better sex, and better sex leads to more frequent orgasms. Talking and showing can also be very sexy.  

Sometimes self-exploration and communication aren’t enough. Female arousal is a physical reaction that includes lubrication and clitoral engorgement. That’s where we come in.

Address the Physical.

Sometimes self-exploration and communication aren’t enough. Female arousal is a physical reaction that includes lubrication and clitoral engorgement. That’s where we come in. Vella Women’s Pleasure Serum works deep beyond the skin to relax the vaginal and clitoral smooth muscle, resulting in increased natural lubrication and leading to more frequent, more intense and more satisfying orgasms.

While some of us know how to fake it and might even enjoy it, we should never feel like we have to. An orgasm is like the whipped topping on a caramel latte. We earned it. So why not own it?

An orgasm is like the whipped topping on a caramel latte. We earned it. So why not own it?

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