What Would You Tell Your Younger Self About Sex?

There are many stereotypes around sex and aging.

Like this one: sex becomes a distant memory once we become parents, or women lose interest in sex after a certain age or become less desirable, or sex is less impassioned and more routine.

At least that's the deep-seated sexual stigma around female sexuality perpetuated by movies and TV. Romantic stories revolve around young love – particularly young women – and more mature characters are often the butt of a joke (for example, kids grossed out that their parents even have sex) or a flailing sex life as a plot point for the collapse of a marriage.

But you know what? We asked a group of brave women what they'd tell their younger selves about sex now that they are older and wiser. The answers were inspiring and insightful.

With age came greater confidence, perspective, and better sex. Most importantly, there was a general theme of age helping us find our voices to articulate what we want and don't want, like and don't like, and better understand our unique sexuality.

Their Insights

• "Forget dimming the lights or being passive about what you want. There's nothing sexier than confidence."
• "Don't let cultural limitations and labels get in the way of your sexual pleasure. Enjoy your sex life the way you want to enjoy it."
• "Sex starts with your mind and not your body. If you're not having fun or being respected — don't do it."
• "Take sex off the pedestal. It is just sex. It doesn't have to mean all these other things. It's about your satisfaction. And by the way, it gets so much better."
• "Self pleasure makes you feel good and you should NEVER feel guilt or shame about it. Explore your body. It helps you know what you want."
• "I'm sorry you had so many fears, labels and misinformation attached to sex. Also, don't fall for the 'just the tip' ploy. If you're not into it, you're not into it and that's more than okay."

We'll leave you with this: Nostalgia is often powerful, but not one woman we talked to yearned for those younger years that were so often shrouded in misinformation and uncertainty. Your pleasure is yours to own no matter your age or life stage.

What sex advice would you tell your younger self?

Your pleasure is yours to own no matter your age or life stage.