Setting New Year's sex resolutions is a fun, meaningful way to start the year with intention and excitement.
Whether you're looking to reignite passion, break out of a routine, discover new levels of pleasure, or simply deepen your connection, a fresh set of goals can help both partners feel more engaged and satisfied.
This guide will walk you through 16 actionable resolutions to strengthen emotional and physical intimacy and create a shared path toward a more connected and sexually fulfilling year ahead.
1. Communicate More Openly
Commit to talking honestly about sex – desires, boundaries, likes, dislikes, and secret fantasies – with your partner. The more you communicate, the more you learn about each other’s preferences.
To start, each partner could share something they enjoy and want to try. Discuss previous sex sessions, what really turns you on, what you’d be open to trying, areas for improvement, etc. Remember that sharing dislikes is just as important as sharing what you love.
If verbal communication feels intimidating, consider writing down thoughts, texting, or using prompts to guide the conversation.
As you learn more about one another’s wishes, try creating a “yes, no, and maybe” list of positions, techniques, toys, fantasies, and everything else you discuss to ensure you’re both on the same page moving forward.
2. Explore New Positions
Instead of sticking to the usual, explore positions that may enhance comfort, lead to different sensations, or introduce novelty. For example, you might try positions that allow for more eye contact or those that let you adjust closeness, penetration depth, and control.
Trying one new position a month can add excitement and rekindle the spark. Make it a fun experiment to discover what works best for both of you. Remember to go at a pace that feels right and enjoy the journey of discovery.
3. Add New Toys
Introducing toys can be a playful way to bring variety and new sensations. Start with something simple, like a dildo, clitoral stimulator, or vibrator, and explore how they make you feel.
As you discover new sensations and the many types of toys available, work your way up to more powerfully stimulating toys that pleasure both partners simultaneously.
Don’t forget to involve your partner in the selection process. Consider making a date out of shopping for them together or simply browsing options online.
4. Try Sex in New Locations
A change of scenery can refresh intimacy by bringing a sense of novelty and excitement. Try stepping away from the bedroom and experimenting with settings in your home, like the living room, or consider safe, private outdoor or public spots if that interests you both.
Even slight changes—like a different room or setting up a cozy, romantic space somewhere new—can alter the energy, making the experience feel different and fresh. Just be mindful of privacy and comfort as you explore locations where both partners can relax and feel at ease.
5. Experiment With Different Lubes
Using different lubricants can enhance comfort and add new sensations. Consider trying water-based lubes for simplicity, silicone-based lubes for longer-lasting effects, or flavored ones for an extra layer of fun.
You could even try warming or cooling lubes, which introduce unique sensations that vary with temperature. Make it an experiment by selecting a few options to try over time, and take note of what feels best for each partner.
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6. Make the Bedroom Sexier
Transforming your bedroom into a sexier space can help set the mood. Start with simple changes like adding soft lighting, luxurious bedding, or additional mirrors. Scented candles, fresh flowers, or subtle décor updates can create a relaxing, intimate ambiance.
Consider relocating the TV to another room and adding a piece or two of new furniture that could aid in positioning for adventurous sex.
Eliminate as many distractions as possible while adding more sensual elements. Clear out a drawer or two so that you’ll have a dedicated place to store condoms, lube, toys, blindfolds, and anything else you regularly incorporate into your sex sessions.
7. Stop Faking Orgasms
Faking orgasms can create misunderstandings, as it sends mixed signals about what truly feels pleasurable. Focus on open discussions about what sensations you enjoy, what doesn’t feel good, and what adjustments might be helpful.
If reaching orgasm takes a long time for you, gently communicate this so your partner understands what it takes for you to reach climax and can focus on your needs without pressure.
8. Discuss Secret Fantasies
Choose a relaxed moment to open up and share secret fantasies. After sharing, ask your partner to do the same. Knowing that fantasies are a judgment-free zone can empower both of you to explore desires and bring more creativity into your sexual relationship.
This doesn’t mean you have to act on every fantasy, but sharing them can reveal new ways to connect or inspire role-play scenarios that both partners find exciting.
9. Consider Role Playing
Role-playing allows both partners to explore new dynamics and personalities. Start by discussing a scenario you’re both comfortable with, such as a doctor-nurse fantasy. Setting boundaries and talking through ideas ensures that both partners feel comfortable.
You don’t need elaborate costumes or scripts. Sometimes, even subtle role-playing elements, like using different names or adopting a playful tone, can create an enjoyable sense of novelty and exploration.
10. Push Boundaries
Stepping out of your comfort zone can open the door to new experiences and pleasures. Are you curious about anal play, or have you wondered how fun light bondage might be? Discuss these options and any other ideas with your partner, and listen to what they’d like to try.
Set clear boundaries when exploring new avenues of sex play, and always be sure that both partners feel comfortable with the level of exploration.
11. Flirt More
Flirting builds excitement and anticipation, which could lead to more sparks in the bedroom. To show your interest, try sending playful messages or compliments during the day.
Physical touches, like a quick shoulder rub or gentle arm touch, also build closeness and communicate attraction. Initiating eye contact, whispering something sweet, or giving unexpected kisses can make your partner feel desired.
12. Have More Quickies
Quickies add a sense of spontaneity and can be a fun way to stay connected even when time is limited. Look for moments in the day when a quick, intimate connection could work, such as during a lunch break, after a morning coffee, or before leaving for an event.
Quickies don’t require elaborate setups or planning—just a mutual desire to share a quick, pleasurable moment together. They allow both partners to prioritize intimacy, no matter how busy life gets.
13. Cuddle and Kiss More
Physical affection outside of sex strengthens emotional intimacy and deepens connection. Spend time cuddling after work or relaxing together before bed, focusing on enjoying each other’s presence without any expectations.
Whether quick pecks or lingering moments, kissing can reignite romance and make both partners feel loved. Set aside a few minutes daily to be close and affectionate to make it a regular practice.
14. Commit to Distraction-Free Sex
Ringing phones, text alerts, and blaring TVs are major mood killers. Setting aside distraction-free time ensures that both partners can be fully present and engaged.
Turn off all phones and TVs, put bills and work-related materials out of sight, and focus solely on the moment at hand. Pay attention to every sensation and respond to each other’s cues.
15. Initiate Sex More Often
Initiating sex can be intimidating if you are not typically the initiator, but with practice, you’ll find that it can be quite fun and obviously very rewarding.
How you initiate sex is up to you. Be direct, flirt like crazy, send racy texts, build sexual tension all day, leave a sex toy in plain sight, or start with a massage—the possibilities are only limited by your imagination.
16. Learn What Brings You Pleasure Through Self-Discovery
Understanding your desires and pleasure helps you communicate what feels best to your partner. Spend time exploring your preferences alone, trying different sensations, pressures, rhythms, lubes, and toys.
Self-discovery isn’t limited to masturbation. Try stimulating various erogenous zones on your body and educating yourself on the science behind sexual pleasure.
When you know what brings you pleasure, you’re better able to communicate these desires with your partner to create a mutually enjoyable experience that aligns with your preferences.
Tips for Keeping Your New Year’s Sex Resolutions
Making resolutions is easy, but sticking to them requires commitment, patience, and sometimes a bit of creativity. When it comes to keeping sex-related resolutions, it’s all about building habits that prioritize connection, communication, and enjoyment.
- Set Realistic Goals Together: Avoid aiming for perfection. Instead, choose resolutions that feel achievable and comfortable for both partners.
- Schedule Time for Intimacy: Busy schedules often sideline intimacy. Schedule uninterrupted time for each other, such as a weekly date night or a cozy weekend morning.
- Communicate Regularly and Honestly: Make it a habit to share your thoughts, desires, and any concerns openly. Share your list of resolutions so your partner can keep you accountable.
- Embrace Small Wins: Even small changes, like successfully trying a new position or committing to distraction-free time, deserve recognition. Acknowledging these moments reinforces positive progress and helps keep your resolutions enjoyable.
- Set Reminders: Reminders can help keep resolutions at the forefront of your mind. Place discreet notes on your calendar, or set a phone reminder for moments to flirt, cuddle, or communicate.
- Be Flexible and Open To Adjusting: Sometimes resolutions may need to evolve, and that’s okay. Adjust or try something different if one idea doesn’t work out as expected.
- Prioritize Emotional Intimacy: Focus on bonding activities outside the bedroom, such as shared hobbies, date nights, or meaningful conversations.
- Keep the Playful Spirit Alive: Staying playful keeps things lighthearted and prevents resolutions from feeling like a checklist. Embrace the fun of trying new things together without overthinking. Flirt, laugh, and enjoy the process.
- Use Reflection To Reinforce Success: Reflecting on your progress as a couple helps reinforce what’s working. Every few months, take a moment to talk about what each partner enjoyed, what felt challenging, and what you’d like to continue.
Closing Thoughts
As you move through the year, remember that intimacy is an evolving journey that requires patience, curiosity, and shared commitment.
These resolutions can enrich your relationship and help maintain a sense of connection and excitement by combining open communication, new experiences, and thoughtful attention to each other’s needs.
No matter where you start, every small step you take together is a step toward a happier, more fulfilling relationship. Keep the spirit of exploration alive, and enjoy making your New Year's sex resolutions a meaningful part of your lives all year long.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What is the most common New Year’s resolution?
The most common New Year’s resolutions tend to focus on improving health, such as exercising more, eating healthier, or quitting smoking. People often set goals to improve their physical and mental well-being; however, most resolutions are quickly abandoned after several weeks.
What is the best way to improve your sex life?
Improving your sex life often starts with open communication. Discussing desires, boundaries, and interests with your partner builds trust and connection. Trying new activities, enhancing the environment, and focusing on each other's pleasure can also revitalize intimacy and bring excitement.
What is the best way to please your partner?
The key to pleasing your partner is understanding their desires and preferences, which requires open dialogue. Listening to their needs, engaging in shared experiences, and prioritizing their pleasure while being responsive to feedback strengthens both intimacy and satisfaction for both partners.
Why does sex get dull?
Sex can feel dull over time due to routines, stress, or a lack of novelty. Maintaining excitement involves trying new things, such as experimenting with new positions, toys, or locations. Staying attentive to each other’s needs, communicating openly, and keeping an open mind can help keep passion alive.